I just need to vent and I thought this would be a good place to do it. AS to your ex, is she still into you, or is it one-sided? I got pregnant and was pressured to get married. NOW YOU WONT BE ALWAYS PHYSICALLY THERE, BUT BECUASE YOU ARE A HAPPY PERSON THAT WILL TRANSLATE THAT. If someone truly needs GA, that's absolutely what it's for. The "baby blues" are a form of depression - just not as severe as PPD. Love My Boyfriend Wants To Have A Baby With Another Woman By Alex Alexander Written on Dec 23, 2022 Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock When I met my polyamorous boyfriend , Buddy, I couldn't. They hurt the most. The baby grew in her, she birthed it, she fed it, and she nurtured it every step of the way. MzGee Ditches 3Music TV To Take Over Nana Ama McBrowns Show At UTV. Women, in particular, have a growing awareness of the benefits of having babies when they're ready and not having more than they can provide for. Having children is not cheap. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. I find the really difficult and I just have idea what do. My girlfriend and I just broke up and she's 3 months pregnant. 2Face. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. Be strong. I too feel torn by a similar situation. Maybe you will need to learn on how to get revenge on a frenemy. He is a grown up. Adults with kids don't need someone else to financially support them. My eldest is 3 then one nearly 2 and one due any time, we dont fight too much but dont love each other, dont even like each other, I just dont want the kids not to have family days and stuff? Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? Most were married to . As for my girlfriend, I love this person and i will do my best to make it work out. As a woman, you get insulted for doing it, and you get insulted for not doing it. May you both be happy and healthy. Add to Favorites. I want to be a father!!! Noooo you have to marry and then spend the rest of your lives in hell with someone you slept with? IS THAT WHAT SHE/HER DESERVES A GARANTEED **** UP ENVRIOMENT? Thanks again JP. YES PRO-LIFE HOWEVER THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY COULD YOU PROVIDE THE BEST FOR THE CHILD? We've been together 9. AND THIS ALSO INCLUDES AN UNHAPPY CHILD. BE A MANam done. All rights reserved. LoveDevani is an independent website. ALL THIS TRANSLATE TO THE CHILD. To think about the kids. Privacy Policy. I guess I'm just looking for someone on the same boat because I really wish I could have someone to talk to. Send all yourrelationship&Loveproblems/issues to me for help via [emailprotected]. In fact, I was planning on breaking up with him right before I found out I was pregnant. What are the reasons for not wanting to be with her? I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. In November 2022, I gave birth to my precious baby girl. Spend time with like-minded people who love and respect your choices. He's not all bad. most times the child bears all the burnt of this relationship as the child would be looked upon as some sort of curse to both parties life the father will hate the child instead of loving it and the mother will eventual resent her child. He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. I want to be a father!!! YOU GOT THIS! Op: I don't understand why you quit your job, but find a new one and go stay with family. Would I do it again? Honestly if I wouldn't of gotten pregnant I would not be with him. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. Firstly, I am sending my regards to you all. I really don't want to mess this child's life up. As to my ex yes she is into me, we where together for over 9 years, this current relationship is just 10 months old! I've never been the same since he brought out innocent baby into the argument. Need help, advice? Good luck to you. This discussion is archived and locked for posting. If you don't want to be controlled, don't make yourself 100% dependent on someone. A year has passed, we have a beautiful little girl that I love with all my heart, but our marriage life is a disaster. I have 6 sisters and three brothers. Take public transportation until you can get your own car and focus on your baby. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. You could split amicably and try to remain friends to do what's best for the child. Long story as short as possible! I'm supposed to get married in a month. She's rambunctious and wild and can make a complete disaster out of any room in 10 seconds flat. But there's something extraordinary about the energy level of a little boy. start communicatin with her without quarrellin give her a try n am sure things gonna work out Or r u afraid u wont be able to sleep around or play ur games wen she step into urlife dear dwag such life n face reality. His family is great also. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. We tried to make it work. As I read the last couple lines I typed, I sound so selfish. Romantic relationship of beautiful couple. gals are expect dnt 4get. So, chances are, she's not speaking as she normally would. I feel like I'm trapped and no where to go. Like, we really, seriously, truly love it. That doesn't mean you give up your relationship w/the child, you will have to share custody, and likely pay support (unless you have the kid more than she does, but that's rare). There are days I hate being pregnant and days I could swear I even hate him. If you don't love her then don't be with her. He started cheating and I would cry myself to sleep. You can't force yourself to love him. You need to get in contact with services and leave. what is de main reason why u do not love her?? Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. hmmmm my advise to u is to pray to God n ask for forgiveness, i wonder the big talk u used on this gal b4 u got her on bed and now ur running frm ur responsibility. I agree that love is more a choice than a feeling. For more information, please see our Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. My girlfriend is pregnant and suddenly i realize that she may not be all i ever wanted. I do feel sorry for you and the situation you are in. And I still do. I'm curious as to how he is selfish?? You are right it is not fair to her. Obviously she is going to get custody if we split up. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. Personally I think if you both have similar life views (finances, rearing children, religion) then I think you could make this a long lasting beautiful relationship and your child can grow up in a loving home with mom and dad. I know daddies who didn't feel a connection to their babies until they held them for the first time and like someone else said, maybe that'll be the case for you. Also, don't give her a dime of your money towards the baby until you find out if it's yours. Not that it matters - if you have feelings for someone else, you can't be in love with your gf so sounds like leaving is the right decision, as staying together for a child with someone you don't love never works out in the long run. There is no right way to be a parent there is the only way that you want to do it. Don't feel guilty if you're not in a constant state of love and bliss when you have a new baby. How can I believe I fathered the child if she's been unfaithful ? When he acts OK with the idea and his first instinct is to be happy, you can be sure it's one of the big signs a man wants to have a baby with you. Accept That You Will Never Be First. It was required that women felt their decreased desire was significantly lower than that of their partner's. The authors interviewed 15 women between the ages of 25 and 59. I am a single mom and have been for a few years- however, my first child was planned with my fiance' and we were madly in love and it was the greatest, happiest time of my life. Right now her parents are planning to bring her over to my house. He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. *I also grew up in a home where my parents were unhappy. Idnt also think the said mother would marry someone who wouldnt make her happy. marriage should not be a punishment or a form of contract. Oh, I agree 100%. You need to be upfront and honest nothing is worse than being lied to when feelings are involved. Is she shaka Zulu or she is not attracted to u?? That is exactly how I feel about my life over the past 8 years - it feels like I have been sleepwalking. "We are. Yes, her hormones will be out of whack. The author playing in the snow in December 2022. He is capable of choosing to be with you and not having a child with you, or leaving if he decides he wants a child more. He made a baby with you but doesn't seem to support you financially and you don't live together. I'm in love with a married man And his wife is pregnant. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. We are deciding if we should divorce now or later when she is bigger. Because, you are not allowing yourself to have a better relationship, at least with your own self. SHE WILL ALSO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO THINK ABOUT WHAT'S BEST FOR HER CHILD. You wouldn't happen to be burning a bra right about now would you? There are reasons you should know and love yourself before you love someone else that will remind you to be true to yourself. Only good thing that came out of it are my children. Please, please do not have an abortion like somebody commented. Second thing that you can do after having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it is to be responsible. I'm a **** if I lie and say I love her and be with her. Even when you first meet your new child, don't put expectations on how you should feel. Told me "**** the baby" I was gone for a while after that but went back due to having no where else to go. My boyfriend cheated on me with his baby mama and now she is pregnant but I still love him HELP!! Tell her at home and in private. He's controlling. I hope everything works out for you. I didn't want to end up starting a family in my 50s. Take this advice as if your life depends on it. I can't bear the thought of breaking up and not being a part to this child's upbringing. Be responsible of your act and decision on something. We were fighting like crazy right before we found out she was pregnant. Well of course he would keep the car. I would be too miserable too even think of looking at other women. or you will be 35 and wondering where your life went and if you'll ever be happy. Dont ever sleep with any girl you are not sure abt. She may have decided against an abortion thinking you will still be with her, but if not, TELL HER it is over and you will not be involved with her anymore (except of course whatever involvement you ahve with the child, support and custody-wise). Eventually I grew to love him, but not the fairy tale kind of love. That's when one of them dropped the term . Being in a loveless relationship is not a good example for the LO you already have and the one on the way. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you? And remember, folks who don't want kids don't want kids. I too got burned with the kid trap. You could have the best partner and tons of family support. I have read many times that people say don't make any major changes in the baby's first year of life. Hi everyone! They finally divorced when I was 19. Don't create a situation where you are stuck and can be controlled like that. They didn't want to break up the family. If you have the "baby blues" you might not notice the sadness or moodiness right away. We are two total opposite people. I just put myself on hold. Having a baby with him because of 'guilt' would be barking mad. dont do it I married my ex for the same reasons it was terrible for not only us but my children. And the same with me. I pretended to be. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. If you don't like something about your life, MAKE A CHANGE. We are two total opposite people. Start off by talking about your family, how you're feeling about work and home in general, and your love for your wife. My father married my mother when she became pregnant times were different then of course. Many things will change during the whole 9 months of pregnancy. Many of us are (heavily) pregnant and still working. Wasn't looking for a sugar daddy. To begin, the average cost of vaginal delivery in the US, with health insurance, is $4,300. Why is she with you? advice needed h heatha_heatha Posted 2/4/14 My boyfriend and I have only been together since November. I'm having a baby with someone I'm not in love with. Second, if she were to make that decision previously to have an abortion for whatever reason you are not someone whose opinion matters since you're on an Internet forum and you don't know the personal lives of anyone on here enough to dictate that they should never have an abortion. For many, it was an easy decision that often came down to a gut feeling and the common refrain that. But, learning from the past and making it as a lesson is a different story. And in some cases, she may want to keep the baby, but you don't. But what do you do in this situation? Knowing that you don't want to have the relationship with someone, you will never be able to fake your feelings for temporary happiness. It is tough to find time for yourself, let alone your spouse. @jessi, LMFAOI like ur commentVery BLUNT and to the POINT. People reports the famous couple's "miracle baby"-a daughter-was born Wednesday, Nov. 7, via surrogate. Has it ever gotten better. Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? Does anyone relate? Good luck! 1) If you seriously just want the child, but not the mother, you know this can never happen unless you have an agreement with your girlfriend. SCENARIO 1: STAY WITH HER BECUASE SHE IS PREGNANT (THIS IS THE FOUNDATION OF THE RELATIONSHIP).