Can Someone With Autism Spectrum Disorder Feel Love? They readily understand when a statement such as, its raining cats and dogs is being used as a figure of speak and not as a literal statement. In this chapter, I will explain how the process of diagnosing someone for Aspergers is usually carried out, both in general terms and the specific way I undertake a diagnosis. They may hear a difference of opinion, or an attempt to explain a different perspecitve about a situation, as conflict or a criticism of who they are. A diagnosis is most assured when the signs of Aspergers are present in the person all the time, they have an obvious effect on the persons ability to be successful in life, and dont vary much. In this chapter, I will explain how the process of diagnosing someone for Aspergers is usually carried out, both in general terms and the specific way I undertake a diagnosis. Often people answer these questions based on what they know about Aspergers, theyve read or been told about it, or what they imagine it is, and what they are indicating in their answers is not a accurate reflection of the characteristics they actually have. I am different. I will not sacrifice myself-worth for peer acceptance. I am a good and interesting person. I will take pride in myself. I am capable of getting along with society. I will ask for help when I need it. I am a person who is worthy of others respect and acceptance. I will find a career interest that is well suited to my abilities and interests. I will be patient with those who need time to understand me. I am never going to give up on myself. I will accept myself for who I am. In the meantime, I wanted to write about this According to widely-quoted statistics, somewhere between 1 in a 100 and 1 in a 250 people have Asperger's Syndrome. In truth, people with Aspergers behave in many different ways and not always exactly how it is defined. Dr. Kenneth Roberson is an Adult Autism Psychologist in San Francisco with over 30 years of experience. I am interested in how the person gets along at work and his or her work performance, how the person manages daily living, what initiative the person takes in planning and achieving life goals, and how satisfied the person is with his or her life. Liane Holliday Willey is an educator, author and speaker. I will answer the question of how accurate a diagnosis is, the confidence one can have in a diagnosis of Aspergers and I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having a diagnosis. A noticeable characteristic of someone with SPD is their difficulty expressing anger, even when they are directly provoked. In contrast, adults with Aspergers have more specific preferences about the kind of sensations they like and dislike. These behaviors, to repeat the same action over and over, are similar to the repetitive routines associated with Aspergers. While it is not legally acceptable to do so, we know that silent discrimination happens, hiring decisions are not always made public and competition can leave someone with a different profile out of the picture. The phrase, He wears his heart on his sleeve, does not make sense to me. An acceptable explanation to other people about the persons behavior is now available leading to the possibility of reconciliation with people who have had problems with the persons behavior. If, for example, the core characteristics of Aspergers lead a person to speak in few sentences, interact with people only around very narrow, special interests and communicate in odd, nonverbal ways, we can say that these are indicators that a diagnosis of Aspergers is correct. The most basic elements of speaking and hearing are the most important issues that AS-NT couples may have. It can support the idea that the person has genuine difficulties arising from a real, legitimate condition. The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding. Even if the individual with AS accepts and understands their diagnosis, the truth is that your brains are wired differently. Do they qualify for a diagnosis of Aspergers, or not? The viability of an Autism Spectrum Disorder marriage requires several crucial steps Lonely, hurt, angry, sad, misunderstood, isolated, desperate. Again, screening questionnaires are designed to identify potential cases of Aspergers syndrome but they are not a substitute for a thorough diagnostic assessment. An acceptable explanation to other people about the persons behavior is now available leading to the possibility of reconciliation with people who have had problems with the persons behavior. Tutoring reports, evaluations of group activities, personal diaries, family recordings and other such records often provide valuable insights about the likelihood of Aspergers. Building Understanding Between AS and NT Worlds. I'm a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Are You Considering Medication Therapy For Adult Autism Spectrum Disorder? When someone with Bipolar Disorder is in a manic state or depressed they may not interact socially as they might if they were feeling normal, they might be withdrawn, lack much emotional response to situations in their life and lose interest in relationships but the changes in their emotional condition is much different than people with Aspergers. The spouse with ASD must develop as much insight as possible into the reality of this condition, recognize the impact it has on the marriage, and cooperate with his or her partner in developing relatedness and mutuality. Aspergers and Social Anxiety Disorder share the common element of discomfort in social situations. Little or too much detail is included in conversation, and there is difficulty in recognizing when the listener is interested or bored. Adults with ADHD tend to process sensory input in a typical manner. I miss my best friends or family when we are apart for a long time. Do they qualify for a diagnosis of Aspergers, or not? Individuals with Aspergers have trouble understanding how people operate but they do respect others, whereas people with APD have no regard for people. Our approach to one another and towards our "significant others" is directed towards solving problems in our relationship with a spectrum-sitting spouse. Do you have Aspergers Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) or know someone who does? Overall, sounds, temperature differences, visual images and tastes more easily overwhelm adults with Aspergers than adults with ADHD. I will accept myself for who I am. For every successful Aspie-NT committed relationship, there are many others who are struggling, teetering, and on the brink of failing. It very well might be that some other condition is the real problem or, more likely, two or more conditions are overlapping. One is the intense aloneness at having ones experiences either disbelieved or outright denied. The core features of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) are frequent and persistent thoughts, impulses or images that are experienced as unwelcomed and uninvited. I have had many cases where I was able to conclude with confidence whether the person had Aspergers without seeing one single piece of written evidence about that persons past. Without this ability, it is difficult to recognize and meet the emotional needs of a spouse. Instead, their future will be filled with loneliness and alienation from others with no expectation of improvement. I will not sacrifice myself-worth for peer acceptance. I am not defective. After all, you wouldnt go to the trouble of evaluating whether you have a broken foot if, in the first place, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your foot. People simply dont comprehend the turmoil involved in living with Autism Spectrum Disorder symptoms. In her 2001 book, Aspergers Syndrome in the Family: Redefining Normal in the Family, she wrote the following self-affirmation pledge for those with Aspergers syndrome. They are the type of person that is others think of as the typical loner.. It is all a matter of confidence, that is, with very few exceptions no one can say that someone else has Aspergers only that one has a certain degree of certainty that a person does have Aspergers. Perhaps you are a spouse wondering if your partner has Aspergers, a friend, acquaintance or colleague of someone you suspect has it, or perhaps you wonder if you might have it yourself. Other people, once they are aware that the person has Aspergers are often able to be more accepting and supportive. Contact Us @ Pain Resource. With this in mind, what is the actual process of finding out whether someone has Aspergers? The person may be able to identify basic emotions, such as intense anger, sadness or happiness yet lack an understanding of more subtle expressions of emotions such as confusion, jealousy or worry. I am not defective. Narrow, repetitive behaviors and interests. She has a remarkable memory, is able to converse in detail about a wide range of subjects, is outgoing and adventurous, and has a quirky but engaging sense of humor. Some people receive a diagnosis of Aspergers with discouragement and disapproval, believing they necessarily will be severely limited in how they can lead their lives. Buy Dealing with Trust Issues by David Joseph from Waterstones today! People with Schizoid Personality Disorder (SPD) avoid social relationships and prefer to spend time alone. Both partners need to be willing to learn and change their behaviors. There can be a new sense of personal validation and optimism, of not being defective, weird or crazy. Lots of people dont pay much attention to whether people are listening to them, but that doesnt mean they have Aspergers. Knowing someone has Aspergers opens up avenues to resources for help as well as access to programs to improve social inclusion and emotional management. Having said that, there are important differences between the two. ed. I am capable of getting along with society. Asperger's syndrome no longer exists as a discrete diagnosis. Most importantly, Aspergers is a form of autism whereas people with SPD have a neurotypical brain and have developed into a personality of extreme introversion and emotional detachment. As long as the public and Medicine's awareness of Lifestyle. Some people spend hours washing themselves or cleaning their surroundings in order to reduce their fear that germs, dirt or chemicals will infect them. The names "Level 1 autism spectrum disorder" or "high-functioning autism" are often used instead of Asperger's. It can be difficult to manage marriage . The bottom line is that Aspergers is a descriptive diagnosis. NT women especially tend to want their partners to understand them and their feelings. They frequently lack empathy and tend to be callous, cynical and contemptuous of the feelings, rights and suffering of others. Adults with ADHD tend to express their feelings directly and fairly clearly whereas adults with Aspergers do not show a wide range of emotions. There may appear to be some overlap between Aspergers and APD, but the resemblance is superficial. Hes unable to make obvious inferences in a conversation, instead insisting that others are not being clear. Cassandra Syndrome has emerged as the term used to describe the psychological and emotional distress experienced by a neurotypical woman married to a neurodiverse man. They tend to react passively to difficult circumstances, as if they are directionless and are drifting along in life. The list of symptoms that sometimes occur with someone in a close relationship with an Autism Spectrum Disorder adult is too long to describe in this article, but several reactions are notable. (Willey 2001. p. 164), Assessment of Autism Spectrum Disorder in Adults, Therapy for Adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Adult Autism Spectrum Disorder Blog, News & Videos, Adult Autism Spectrum Disorder and Relationships, Adult Autism Spectrum Disorder Psychologist, Assessment of Adult Autism Spectrum Disorder, All Articles About Living with Autism Spectrum Disorder, All Adult Autism Spectrum Disorder Resources, How People With Autism Spectrum Disorder Think Part II, Four Essential Ingredients For A Successful Autism Spectrum Disorder Relationship, Outer Frames: Women, Autism and Sensitivity. In the workplace and in educational settings, a diagnosis of Aspergers can provide access to helpful resources and support that might otherwise not have been available. Over the course of her marriage, she experiences herself. Asperger marriage: Forum Index Relationship Discussion (non-explicit) Additionally, when the information used to make a diagnosis comes from multiple sources, like family history, an experts observations, school, medical and other reports, questionnaires and standardized test instruments the diagnosis is likely to be more accurate and reliable. Brain scans, blood tests, X-rays and other physical examinations cannot tell whether anyone has Aspergers. They have a very restricted range of emotions, especially when communicating with others and appear to lack a desire for intimacy. School reports might indicate past social and emotional difficulties, along with academic tendencies, that could be relevant to any indications of Aspergers syndrome. The Asperger love guide: A practical guide for adults with Asperger's syndrome to seeking, establishing and maintaining successful relationships. Adults with Aspergers, on the other hand, dont necessarily lack self-confidence or are afraid of being rejected, they are simply not able to pick up on social cues. An individual with AS has challenges understanding or predicting the consequences of his/her behavior on others. They get distracted easily and jump from one interest or activity to another. There is test yet developed that can be used to make a diagnosis of Aspergers, no instrument that measures Aspergers nor any procedure that can objectively sort out those with Aspergers from those without it. In the workplace and in educational settings, a diagnosis of Aspergers can provide access to helpful resources and support that might otherwise not have been available. What If Adult Autism Spectrum Disorder Is A Social Learning Difference? Researcher Maxine Aston has described a bookend disorder to Alexithymia, which is the consequence of living with an emotionally stunted partner.